When we met I was a full-time single mother to a 2-year-old little boy. Every non-working hour of the day, my time and energy was spent captivated with this tiny life that depended on me to be his everything.
From day one you had some steep competition. When you wanted to cuddle up on the sofa, he was there to squash his way right into the middle. When you wanted to go to a fancy restaurant for dinner, he was there with a fever and stomach bug to break the special plans. This precious boy had my heart and you knew from the very beginning it would never be 100% yours for the taking.
Fast forward six years and two additional children together, we have never known a day without them. We’ve never gone on an extravagant honeymoon vacation to Mexico or stayed the weekend at an adults-only B&B. We’ve never known the luxury of sleeping in late on the weekend or spending frivolous dollars on Starbucks lattes, avocado toast, and trendy clothing.
Although I am now your wife – you have never had the pleasure of having me all to yourself – as JUST your wife. My many roles have not come without conflict and struggle as well as joy and laughter.
I think about the days when our children are grown and the house becomes empty, but I realize that it won’t ever be the same. You can never compare pre-children-life to life-after-children. Even when their adults and their tiny shoes no longer linger by the front doorway, their well-being will always linger in my mind and heart.
Sometimes I’m sad to know that you’ll never truly get to experience the carefree pre-baby woman that I used to be and it’s a damn shame, because she was fabulous. On the other hand, I realize that being a mom made me into the loving and caring adult that you fell in love with so many years ago.
And while our mornings together always begin at the crack of dawn, money is tight, and vacations are always kid-centered… I’ve come to accept that I would never want to know a life any other way.